Blowing hot and cold in a relationship - what does it really mean?
miserablegirl321 asked:
I have been with him nearly 2 years, had a baby - lost a baby but he was wrong with me and verbally abusive a lot of the time, recently he is acting weird - sometimes v nice espec when I ignore him and sometimes extremely **** just cos I ring too much. I have cut back on my calls since he tried to dump on me the other day and I went into my job in bits. I find the whole process v cruel as I have not seen him in 10 wks now. Its all about the fact that I don’t want to be used by him anymore so I said how I won’t have sex with him unless he marries etc but he reacted with I dont want to have sex with u in case I give you another baby, I would love another baby but he is v insensitive to my feelings - I know I can not bring her back but the way I lost her was so unfair- i.e. birth injury - I also wondered if another woman is in the background after all why get shitty suddenly-switch your phone off - make the woman who bore
what I don’t get is..why does he keep to ring and check up on me if he clearly doesn’t want me from what he says - or then when he ignores me acts **** when I ring..its a push pull effect. Baby died 1st Oct 2007. He said we are leagues away from marriage but I think he knows that - that is bullsh=t. I am trying to forget him and move on with my life - I am more disturbed at his lack of care about this. I think he notices I move more and more away from him but he is only slightly reacting and when I completely ignore he is all sweet again like as if nothing ever happened.I think he fears commitment and I said fine take your time I fear it too..so why you going mad but its cos I bring it up a bit too often he goes loopy. But what does he expect - I want the relation to have a chance of moving and I start to get so fed up of it. Sex life is dead cos baby died, I never see him cos he has to work all the time on his business so what is left? what do you guys think thanks!
why would he want to hurt my feelings - I think he knows I have been through enough - ok so he is not being supportive but he does declare that he loves me a lot especially when I give him no contact whatsoever..I think he is confused - one min he wants me the next he doesn’t want to know so what is the best solution cos I really want to settle down with him..we have been through so much..I don’t want to just have another..even though it would be easy to get. I just want him..and even if he is being a shit I am just wondering what triggers this behaviour in a man..thanks to write anyway
Dora
I have been with him nearly 2 years, had a baby - lost a baby but he was wrong with me and verbally abusive a lot of the time, recently he is acting weird - sometimes v nice espec when I ignore him and sometimes extremely **** just cos I ring too much. I have cut back on my calls since he tried to dump on me the other day and I went into my job in bits. I find the whole process v cruel as I have not seen him in 10 wks now. Its all about the fact that I don’t want to be used by him anymore so I said how I won’t have sex with him unless he marries etc but he reacted with I dont want to have sex with u in case I give you another baby, I would love another baby but he is v insensitive to my feelings - I know I can not bring her back but the way I lost her was so unfair- i.e. birth injury - I also wondered if another woman is in the background after all why get shitty suddenly-switch your phone off - make the woman who bore
what I don’t get is..why does he keep to ring and check up on me if he clearly doesn’t want me from what he says - or then when he ignores me acts **** when I ring..its a push pull effect. Baby died 1st Oct 2007. He said we are leagues away from marriage but I think he knows that - that is bullsh=t. I am trying to forget him and move on with my life - I am more disturbed at his lack of care about this. I think he notices I move more and more away from him but he is only slightly reacting and when I completely ignore he is all sweet again like as if nothing ever happened.I think he fears commitment and I said fine take your time I fear it too..so why you going mad but its cos I bring it up a bit too often he goes loopy. But what does he expect - I want the relation to have a chance of moving and I start to get so fed up of it. Sex life is dead cos baby died, I never see him cos he has to work all the time on his business so what is left? what do you guys think thanks!
why would he want to hurt my feelings - I think he knows I have been through enough - ok so he is not being supportive but he does declare that he loves me a lot especially when I give him no contact whatsoever..I think he is confused - one min he wants me the next he doesn’t want to know so what is the best solution cos I really want to settle down with him..we have been through so much..I don’t want to just have another..even though it would be easy to get. I just want him..and even if he is being a shit I am just wondering what triggers this behaviour in a man..thanks to write anyway
Dora
Edna
hi there !
its very obvious that he DONT love you anymore, he wanted you to suffer , he is trying to gain you back when ever he feels that you run away to ensure himthat he can still continue to hurt your feelings
MOVE on , dont let you time pass by wasted ,give your self a chance to be love
Bonnie
Hello, I may not be of any help, but I am having similar issues with my girlfriend. She wants to leave/end our releationship due to my moodiness. In all honesty I have figured out that I am under so much stress from all sides (job, family, etc.) that I never realized how angry I get at times and just say things that can be hurtful, not to her but she is the one who hears it all the time. My guess he is under so much stress that it is not noticeable to him, but to you and probably others.
It needs to be brought up that you think he is under alot of stress. I’m about 95% that the problems he is having is not you, but you are feeling the impact. He probably doesn’t even realize that you are upset/concerned. I never realized it until I talked to a therapist today and she brought it to my attention. Stress has many faces and voices. I had no idea how bad it was and is for me. This is just an idea.