What would you do with the baby books?
I have been cleaning my basement out for over a week now sorting threw all the things that just ended up down there; I even came across a bag of garbage meant to be put out years ago for the garbage man to collect! I have gone as far as polishing the ceiling beams and old wooden staircase, and washed the crumbling floor.
I finally made my way to the back of the basement where large plastic bins were. I forgot where they came from. Upon opening them I found a few bins of my toys, clothes and other things from when I was a child. I am surprised that the bins in my damp moldy basement kept everything like new inside.
I came across a box with my old pictures and baby book. My parents are both passed away now and seeing them young again lightened my spirits and made my heart beat a bit quicker with joy. In the box are also my sibling’s baby books.
My one sibling brought sexual abuse and I was beaten by her first husband who knocked out a front tooth to add insult to injury. She has whined a life time that my birth ruined her life because I made her a middle child. When I put my guard down she steels from me even though she is married a wealthy man forty years her senior. My brother gets angry and insists I am selfish for wanting the stolen items back so through the years I distanced myself from them, I used to keep contact because that made our mother happy, our father died when I was young (and I am quite a bit younger than my siblings). Also my sister has destroyed most of my baby pictures and will not let me have any copies of the ones she has of our parents. The books I found are full of pictures I didn’t realize I had.
My dilemma is that when mom made these books, they were made for my siblings out of the goodness and innocence of mom’s heart. If you were me, would you sent the books to my siblings or just save them and give them to my nephews in the future. (I am a history buff kind of person and I always preserve memorabilia, I donated to the local historic society much from the old house I bought) .
Dale
Vanessa
You can have copies of the pictures made. You keep the real pictures (since they may be destroyed) and replace with the copies (which are excellent with today’s technology). Say nothing and save the books for the nephews when they are stable enough to appreciate them.
Diana
why not make copies? give your siblings the copies. By the way, unforgiveness is like poison to your body. Let it go.
Tanya
i MIGHTH - if i was in a Buddha like state of spiritual enlightenment -make copies of the photos and things and let have them that but NO WAY would i give them to them!!!!
i feel for you - i asked my parents not to get in touch with me again after they couldn’t quite bring themselves to tell the truth about the sexual abuse that had gone on in my family. i mmiss them, strange to say, in some way - it would be nice to have a mum and dad who could love me - unfortunately they can’t - just don’ty have the guts to face the truth, i’m afraid, and i don’t have to put up with their sickness dragging me down which is SOOOO worth the occasional moments of feeling bad about not having family.
my sister knew what was going on, even heard them discussing what to say about it all but she made a choice - my mum and dad have money and my sister was as abused as i was, in some ways, and money feels like a castle against the world - she chose them, and the lies, and whatever else goes with that, over me and a straight-forward relationship.
families are hard work huh? i’m glad i’m a guy - seems to me there are less hooks to be guilt-tripped up by as a guy and i have made choices that are sane and good for me. if there is something good for you in those books - if they lift your heart, connecdt you to your past, anything really - then i’d keep them and know that those who have passed are wiser and understand why us mortal types do what we do!
there are still things i would like to say to all my family but they aren’t ready to hear anything so i think i would just cause them pain opening up stuff they are willing to let rot in their hearts - that’s their choice. if i was in your predicament i qwould do what my heart told me to but i wouldn’t ‘cast pearls before swine’ - keep what is valuable to you, you’ve lost enough already.
(’scuse bad typing!)
hugs